Details Are Sketchy

Sampsanova: The Grannibal Cannibal

Details Are Sketchy Season 2 Episode 2

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In this episode, Rachel tells us about Russia's "Grannibal Cannibal." As always, we talk about what we're reading and watching. There's no missing person's case this week. 

Our next book is the classic "Helter Skelter" by Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry. We will discuss it in the next episode (episode 32).

Sources: 

The Casual Criminalist - Tamara Sampsanova: The Granny Ripper. 

MurdHer:Women In Crime -  Episode 2: Tamara Sampsanova, The Granny Ripper.

Bonding Over Murder-True Crime Discussions by Sarah & Anthony - Tamara Sampsanova: Russia’s “Granny Ripper”

Murderpedia - "Tamara Sampsanova: The Granny Ripper" by Will Stewart

CNN - "Police: Cannabalism Suspected in Russian “Granny Ripper” Case" by Matthew Chance,

The Sun UK - "Pensioner Dubbed the “Granny Ripper” is Jailed for Life for killing her elderly friend, hacking off head and then COOKING IT" by Will Stewart 

Get in touch with us:

Instagram: Details Are Sketchy - @details.are.sketchy
Facebook: Details Are Sketchy - @details.are.sketchy.2023
Instagram: Kiki - @kikileona84
Instagram: Rachel - @eeniemanimeenienailz
Email: details.are.sketchy.pod@gmail.com 

Speaker 1:

I'm Kiki and I'm Rachel, and this is. Details Are Sketchy, a true crime podcast, and I'm not even going to pretend to know what episode we're on. I think maybe 31.

Speaker 2:

Isn't this like two or three of the new season?

Speaker 1:

It would be two of the new season Okay, let's go with that. Or maybe third of the new season. I don't know, I have no idea. I think two because we're super behind. I have no idea. I think two because we're super behind. That's true, we are super behind, okay. So all I know is the next episode is when we need to have our book done.

Speaker 2:

Okay, okay, and we will have it done.

Speaker 1:

We will. I've already started reading it. All right, I'm ahead of the game here. I'm doing okay for the new year. We'll see if I can maintain this momentum Right. Go, katie, woohoo, oh, I didn't even look up a. I didn't look up a missing person.

Speaker 2:

I haven't started reading the book, or any of our books for this month, no, so I just read that gardening book, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1:

That's okay. I've only read one book. Mine was much shorter.

Speaker 2:

Now I'm eating candy and making loud candy sounds. Me too.

Speaker 1:

mine was not even candy and making a lot of candy. So me too. Okay, I didn't look up a missing person.

Speaker 2:

Great start to the new year I hope you guys like chatter, because my case is kind of short, or at least I think it's short. Maybe it's not as short as I think it is, but but because I go on, I do go on, that's okay. But okay, let me open my notes. So this episode is going to cover the story of serial killer Tamara Samsonova, a Russian serial killer arrested in St Petersburg in 2015 following the murder of her friend and temporary housemate, valentina Ulanova. After Samsonova I'm so sorry if you're out there and you're like your Russian is terrible, I know it is Like I'm sorry After Samsonova was arrested for the murder of Ulanova, it was discovered that Ullanowa was not her first victim and that, in fact, samsonova was an experienced serial killer with a history dating back to at least 1995 and may be responsible for anywhere between 11 and 21 victims 11 and 21 victims. Because of her age at the time of arrest, 68, tamara Samsonova gained the monikers of Baba Yaga, the Granny Ripper and the Granible Cannibal Granible.

Speaker 1:

Cannibal. I kind of like that one. Yeah, that one's funny. Baba Yaga's good too. That's a literary reference.

Speaker 2:

Yes, although I would like to note that she had no children or grandchildren that I could find information about, and it appeared that she was not in fact a grandmother. And then I wrote, for those who want to know, that a Baba Yaga is a figure from Slavic folklore that is often depicted as an older woman who lures in children and then eats them, although sometimes the Baba Yaga is seen as a benevolent figure who aids the protagonist of the story, she's associated with the forest and the wilderness.

Speaker 1:

So even the Baba Yaga reference would be wrong, because she didn't kill kids, right?

Speaker 2:

No, she didn't kill kids, only adults. Yeah, the only connection is that she's Slavic and she's an old lady who kills. Okay. So obviously Tamara Samsonova is being compared with more sinister depictions of Baba Yaga here, since she's an older woman, she is still alive and she was purported to have cannibalized at least some of her victims.

Speaker 2:

All right, tamara Samsonova was born in 1947 in Uzair, russia, and unfortunately, that's about all the information I could find on her childhood. Did she have siblings? What did her parents do? Did she have a loving family or an abusive one? What was she like as a child? I could not find any type of account about that, and in fact I couldn't even find out what her maiden name was, because Samsonova was her married name. So what we do know is that she attended Moscow State University and she achieved a degree in linguistics, after which she moved to St Petersburg and she worked for a travel agency at the Grand Hotel Europe. That's where she met and married her husband, alexei Samsonov.

Speaker 2:

Some sources said Samsonova, but I read that in Russian then the surname is gendered and so it's Samsonov for like masculine and Samsonova for her, since she's a lady. So that's an interesting tidbit. Yeah, she's a lady. So that's an interesting tidbit. Yeah, in 1971 is when they got married and they settled into a modestly built panel house. Now I'm a little confused. Do you know what the fuck a panel house is? No, because some sources say it's a panel house. It's a house, other sources call it an apartment, so I don't know. I've seen now where most of the pictures are from is the last crime scene is not that same house, but most of the killings did take place at that house and I've seen a couple of pictures, pictures. But it only really showed the inside and so it's hard to say for sure whether or not it's like a house or an apartment. But the other place was definitely like an apartment yeah like a big apartment building.

Speaker 2:

okay, that's just a little a sign. Any anyone let me know. If you know what a panel house is, okay so, but whatever it was, it was pretty modest and they lived on number four Dimitrov Street. Neighbors reported they were a quiet and friendly couple. Neighbors reported they were a quiet and friendly couple. Samsonova continued working for the travel agency for the next 16 years and then she retired.

Speaker 2:

So, according to the Murder Her podcast, samsonova's mother-in-law went missing in 1995. And although I had a hard time finding sources talking about the disappearance of her mother-in-law, one SunUK article referenced it, saying that an old school friend of Samsonova's named Anna Batalina reported that Samsonova had told her that she Samsonova that is was a person of interest under suspicion for the murder of her mother-in-law. So that's a little red flag right there. And another article that I found said that she was under suspicion for the disappearance of her mother, and so I don't know if they were referring to the mother-in-law or if they were referring to her actual biological mother, but I I figured it was probably the mother-in-law, or if they were referring to her actual biological mother, but I I figured it was probably the mother-in-law, since I could find absolutely no other reference to her parents. Okay, okay.

Speaker 2:

So in and Samsonova filed a missing person report. She seemed very upset when she talked to the police that he was missing and she told police and her friends that she believed he had run away with another woman. However, the police were never able to locate him and today he is believed to be amongst her victims. After a little while after her husband's disappearance a few years after she began renting out a room in her apartment or her house which makes sense, because now she's really got no income um, to what would turn out to be a series of men between 2003 and 2015. Later, we discovered that most of these men had become her victims. Huh, and we will touch on them, but I want to fast forward to 2015 and to her final victim, which is how she ended up getting caught, and that's also the murder that we have the most information about.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

So in March 2015, samson O's apartment needed to undergo renovations. I'm really not sure what renovations it underwent, because the picture that I saw it looked like it was completely like cluttered, like a almost hoarding type situation, and so I'm really not sure like was it even undergoing renovations or some sources suggested that maybe that was a bullshit story.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so a mutual friend had introduced Samsonova to 79-year-old Valentina Ullanova and suggested that Samsonova stay with Ullanova for a short while while Samsonova's apartment with her in exchange for housework and some sources also said like she helped her like caretaking activities as well, since Valentina was quite a bit older than Samsonova, and also with the understanding that it was going to be a short-term circumstance. Circumstance. Well, samsonova ended up staying several months longer than what was originally planned and it seemed that the longer she stayed, the longer she decided she really liked living in Ulanova's apartment much better than she had living on her own Right, than if she had gotten the authorities involved Right, and who knows how that would have gone. Yeah, exactly. So their relationship understandably dissolved and they argued a lot. So, after a particularly nasty argument about Samsonova not washing her teacups, samsonova decided she had had enough of non-murderous conflict resolution.

Speaker 2:

So on July 23rd 2015, she traveled to a nearby small town of Pushkin and she managed to persuade a pharmacist to sell her the prescription medication phenazepam, which is a ben? Benzodiapant. It's a benzo, okay, benzodiapine. I can't words, that's all. Right now I, I I saw some sources that said that she had been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and this medication is sometimes used to treat schizophrenia.

Speaker 2:

However, I couldn't tell if she was diagnosed before or after her arrest. So, who knows, yeah, who knows if she actually had like a legitimate reason to have this medication, if she had maybe been prescribed in the past and or if she just like bribed the pharmacist to get it or whatever right. But what we do know is that at that time in russia, this medication was not a controlled substance. But now it is okay, and probably in part because of this case. Yeah, she took the medication and mix it in with her friend's favorite food, which was olivier salad, and some podcasts are like how could she mix all those meds into a salad? But it's an olivier salad, I found out, is not a salad salad, it's like a hearty Russian potato salad with potatoes, eggs, ham, peas and other stuff.

Speaker 1:

So it's going to have like that creaminess to it.

Speaker 2:

Yes, it's got mayo, it's got dill and whatever kind of seasonings in it, and so it would be easy to probably crush up pills and hide it into the sauce, and it would be, masked by the flavors.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and it's awful, because she probably is like oh, like, I'm so sorry for earlier, let me make it up to you with your favorite meal, but it's got these uh meds in it, and the thing is that if she had given her enough benzos, she could have just killed her outright that way. Yeah, but no, she gave her enough to make her pass out, and Samsonova later reported that when she heard a thud and that Valentina had fallen to the kitchen floor unconscious, that's when Samsonova immediately got to work, dismembering her former friend while she was still alive, beginning with decapitating her with a hacksaw.

Speaker 1:

Isn't that terrible yeah.

Speaker 2:

I really hope. I know that benzos are like pretty numbing, so I hope that she was pretty out of there for that situation and did not regain consciousness. And then she proceeded to dismember the rest of her body with a hacksaw and with two kitchen knives, saw and with two kitchen knives and for some reason, like I guess after the trial, they had her like go back to the apartment and like use like a dummy to like recreate everything that she did. That's why we have these kind of details about like where did she start? And like because she like showed the police exactly what she did.

Speaker 2:

I don don't know why that was necessary, but like you would think that just based on what they had, but anyway. So then she wrapped the pieces of Ivana's body in a shower curtain and placed them into garbage bags. However, ivana's head and her hands she boiled in a large pot. She would later explain that this was to obscure Olvana's identity. Yeah, she was captured by CCTV footage carrying plastic garbage bags down the stairs in several different trips and finally carrying a large pot with a lid, and you can see video of her carrying like the pot, which contained over on his head, of course.

Speaker 1:

Thankfully, the lid is on so you can't see anything, but just knowing that she's carrying a pot that is containing a human head.

Speaker 2:

Very grotesque, yes. However, some portions of Olavana's body were too heavy for her to carry, so she just left them there in the apartment. That's terrible Now some sources said that she, like, buried them in the back or they were in the backyard, but, like from the pictures that I saw, there wasn't really a backyard, it was like a big apartment building Right, and so I don't see how that could have been possible. Other sources said that she just left them in the apartment, which makes more sense to me Because I'm like if she couldn't carry them, then she couldn't have carried them like outside.

Speaker 2:

So that's what I'm gonna assume happened. Yeah, but like it's just ridiculous that she carried out part of it and then she was like fuck it, this is too much for me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, she didn't think she'd get caught with the smell in the apartment.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah Well, apparently, I don't know, she seemed she didn't seem that concerned about it, right, yeah? So she apparently dumped them next to a pond in a little park right on her same street, where they were discovered just a few days later by a park goer's dog. So after that, it was very quick work for the police to track this suspicious older lady caught on CCTV hauling multiple loads of trash bags down the street. Cctv hauling multiple loads of trash bags down the street. When police arrived at Olvana's apartment door, they found traces of blood in her bathroom and the shower curtain had been ripped off the bar. Later they found the remains of Olvana that Samsonova was unable to carry down the street. Interestingly enough, one source claimed that one thing they were not able to locate was the head in the pot. Huh yeah, I wonder where she could have taken that.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, she was not telling. Huh. When they went back and searched Samsonova's apartment, they found that she had kept a diary chronicling at least 10 other murders most of them her boarders and some of them her neighbors along with more mundane accounts of her non-murderous activities, like she drank a coffee or she didn't feel like eating that day. Her diary was written in a strange mix of English, russian and German, with sometimes switching between languages, even like mid-sentence. One entry that was made public by the police she wrote, quote I killed my tenant Volodya, cut him into pieces in the bathroom with a knife, put the pieces of his body in plastic bags and then threw them away. So it seemed like poison poisoning to like incapacitation and then dismemberment, and then scattering the remains around in plastic bags with her typical ammo.

Speaker 2:

In her diary she also wrote about ingesting the organs of some of her victims, particularly the lungs. The lungs, yep, I guess she liked the lungs. Most of the organs of Olvana were not found and investigators believe that Samsonova may have ingested them as well, although she denied having done so. Some cold cases that had been unsolved at least one was able to be corroborated by her testimony found in her diary and evidence found in her home. So I wrote this as two separate dudes, but I actually think it's. This may have be the same dude, uh where she described a tattoo of one of her victims that matched the tattoo of a john doe, and then also she had a page in one of her books on the occult, which she had quite a number of books on the occult and the page was ripped out of one of the books and the missing page was found on that same body.

Speaker 2:

Huh yeah. So because they found that evidence in her apartment, they were able to confirm that that was one of her victims.

Speaker 2:

Right to confirm that that was one of her victims. Right, and so those two victims were the ones that she was charged with the murders of. She was said to have been obsessed with astrology and quote-unquote black magic and had a collection of books on the subject. So friend of samsonova, anna Batalina, that's the same one who testified that Samsonova had told her that she was wanted for the murder of her mother-in-law previously. She also reported that Samsonova had a hot temper and had once flew into a rage at her, screaming I'll kill you, I'll cut you to pieces, I'll throw the pieces out for the dogs, don't make me angry. Batalina reflected that she was lucky to not have become another victim of Samsonova. Friends also reported Samsonova had a strong belief that she was destined for fame. I put delusions of grandeur.

Speaker 1:

Question mark.

Speaker 2:

According to friends, she constantly told them I will be popular, I will be famous. She also added that one day she would cause a sensation. According to a neighbor's account, in her younger days she was quite attractive and would sit in her street-facing window topless, with her back to the street to attract the attention of men. Her neighbor also testified that she was obsessed with infamous Soviet serial killer Andrew Cicatillo, whose reign of sexual assault, murder and cannibalism of at least 55 victims ended with his 1994 execution.

Speaker 1:

I've never heard of him.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the neighbor Marina Krivenko also added Samsonova was obsessed with black magic literature. Another old friend told reporters that Tamara Samsonova is a very strange woman, tricky and suspicious. Yeah, I think it's interesting. Possibly interesting. Chikatilo was executed in 1994 and possibly her first victim that we can connect to her for was 95.

Speaker 2:

Maybe she thought she was carrying on. It was 95. Yeah, maybe she thought she was carrying on his work, maybe In custody. Samson O's behavior proved no less bizarre. During initial questioning, she claimed to be an actress and a graduate of the School of Russian Ballet. Later she claimed to have been an attendant for some very famous luxury Russian ballet. Later she claimed to have been in attendance for some very famous luxury Russian hotels. During questioning, she admitted to a number of murders. Some sources said 13, another one said 21,. But whatever the number, she would later walk back most of those confessions. At her trial she blew kisses to the reporters, which I watched on YouTube, and told them I knew you would come. It's such a disgrace for me. All this city will know I was getting ready for this court action for dozens of years. It was all done deliberately. There was no way to live With this last murder. I closed the chapter. Ladies bananas.

Speaker 2:

At some points during her trial she appeared confused. I repeated she had a history of mental illness. She confessed to the murders but then blamed them on her neighbors. On the 26th of November 2015, she was found to be mentally incompetent to stand trial and was sentenced to indefinite compulsory psychiatric treatment in a facility in Kazan. The Russian police are still investigating her in connection with 14 murderers. So that is all I have. What else do I have to say about this case?

Speaker 2:

It did seem like she had been in a psychiatric hospital previously Uh-huh, but like what was she in for? Like how long was she there? Like what was? Did she receive a diagnosis then, if any? Like was she on prescription medication? Any of that information not available? Some of the stuff that she said could possibly to her neighbors and friends about being a big actress or being famous could possibly be seen as delusions of grandeur. Famous could possibly be seen as like delusions of grandeur, but it could also be like like she thinks she's following in the footsteps of this serial killer yeah, uh, chikatilo and that she knows that she's going to be famous. She's going to be a famous serial killer like him, yeah.

Speaker 2:

So not that that's not also unhinged, but in in a different way than a schizophrenic delusion of grandeur.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

But what I was saying about her, whatever diaries, the police said that they are not going to release that until they're finished with their investigation, which I'm guessing they will probably not release the rest of it until like during her lifetime Probably. Yeah, Whatever her other entries, maybe there's some insight into like what her motivation was.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So especially like whatever what she, what does she think this connection with the occult is? Does she think that she's doing some kind of ritual to make herself famous? Or like what is she doing with that? Like what is, what does she think the tie-in is?

Speaker 1:

maybe she doesn't, or maybe she doesn't, maybe we're just doing that.

Speaker 1:

I mean well part of the reason I think that there is maybe a tie-in is like the the page was found on one of the victims for one of her books on the occult maybe, but maybe that was to throw police off yeah yeah, so I don't know because it's yeah, because I mean yeah, I don't think just because you have books on astrology or occult means you're actually into it and you know, or that it would cause you to do something like any more than true crime.

Speaker 2:

Oh no.

Speaker 1:

Well, certainly not. But like it's just an interest, I mean, I've got books on witchcraft. I'm not into it. I did it. I had that for research.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I know, I agree, but the fact that it was found on one of her victims, that's why I'm like maybe if there is some kind of delusion of grandeur or something like that, maybe she might have like mentally, like there's a cold aspect to that. I could see that being part of like a schizophrenic delusion. But then again.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, she could just be throwing them off, yep or it could just be, yeah, like a side hobby, maybe it fell out of the book and she had it and she just tossed it in garbage or whatever.

Speaker 2:

I wonder if she was as careless with her other murders as she was with Valentina Olnova and she just happened to get lucky, or if maybe I thought about what if she was starting to have dementia or something like that, and she's like, eh, this is good enough, yeah, I've taken it really far and I've really hidden it well, when she actually hasn't hidden it well at all.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, or she may just could not have done it. I mean just that last picture of her carrying that pot. I can imagine that she wouldn't have been able to carry like a torso or something. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and maybe she was like just tired and like fuck it, I don't care if I get caught? Yeah, I just want to win.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, interesting. Yeah, I hadn't heard of that at all.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So how'd you find that one? Because I know you were having trouble. I looked up a list of cannibal killers.

Speaker 2:

Oh, it's not the poison connection from the book you were reading. No, it was a cannibal. I was like I'm going to do a cannibal and I was like a lady A, and then I was also interested because I wanted to do a more modern case and so this had all of this stuff. Yeah, I just wish that there was more information about it. Like, the sources are not that great, Of course. You know, like we said, it's Russia, but I'm so curious. I'm so curious like, what was her childhood like and like, did she commit crimes? Like, did she hurt?

Speaker 1:

or kill anybody before that, and like there's just no information about her earlier life about her earlier life or like well, I wonder how the english press got a hold of things, because I wonder if anybody was there doing it or if they were looking at, uh, newspapers and whatever, and then translating it and bringing it over I don't know what I mean, like there may not have been an investigative person yeah and maybe they just weren't that interested at the time.

Speaker 1:

I bet there's a book on her now, but I mean probably in russian she is.

Speaker 2:

I think there's a book and it's about like a serial killer book or something like that, and she's in it, I think. But I don't think I couldn't see that there was a book just dedicated to her.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so Well, I'm in Russian.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1:

Not necessarily in.

Speaker 2:

English.

Speaker 1:

That's true. That would be a big undertaking to write a true crime book on a crime in Russia yeah, Especially these days considering.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I also thought about how, like animal rights and stuff, why is it not human, humanitarian, what's the right term? Just not not fucking abusing animals is not really a thing in russia, right? Um, so she had been experimenting with like harming animals or whatever, like who would have documented? Who would have cared?

Speaker 1:

like yeah, true yeah, oh, you mean, if she had done that when she was a kid or something. Yeah, maybe they just don't care, maybe that idea isn't really much of a thing yeah, yeah, exactly that's what I'm saying, is not? Well, I don't mean that idea. I mean I mean like wondering about a killer's past, you know or or.

Speaker 2:

Okay, I go to me like the way that we look at the psychology of serial killers, I mean, I'm sure it is a little bit, but I maybe it's just not as that's from, like the FBI and all of that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, maybe it's just not the interest that we as a culture place on it. Very true.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I can see that, because they're just like execute this person or, in this case, send them to a mental institution that was formerly a gulag.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, or maybe it just hasn't come out in English. I mean, it may be there. We just don't know about it.

Speaker 2:

So, but if I'll learn russian and then go and see, no, big deal just no big russian, of course, to find out easy if they ever, uh do, release her diary in full. I would be really interested to see what she had to say. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, like, what the hell was her motive?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Well, I mean, do serial killers really need motive?

Speaker 1:

Well sure, I mean, yeah, but I mean usually they have some kind of even if it's like a really fucked up motive you know, they have some kind of kind of like justification for what they're doing maybe she may not have written it down, though, yeah, although it sounds like maybe it's just because she gets angry, like I mean, if she, if what the friend said, she said yeah then maybe it's just, she's just fed up, yeah, like somebody. She didn't intend to kill them, but then somebody made her angry so she killed them.

Speaker 2:

That makes me even more curious about that, especially that like, yeah, her early life, in the like 30 years she was married to her husband before she made him disappear. Like, what was she doing in that time?

Speaker 1:

yeah, she could have been pretending. I mean btk lived a few decades or more without killing anybody in my mind.

Speaker 2:

Maybe she has this like belief, maybe it's tied to chickatillo. Maybe she thought that chickatillo is going to be released somehow, like maybe he's a big deal for her and that he's gonna whatever bring her version of justice to whatever russia or something. And then when, maybe when he's executed, she's like, well, I gotta do it now, it's me. Maybe start with my mother-in-law. Yeah, I don't know, I'm, I'd be really curious, but but yeah, I would be curious to see what she says in her diary, because I think even if you talk to her, it seems like you wouldn't get much sense. No, so anyway, that's it.

Speaker 1:

That's it. It's going to be a short episode. I know I told you it was a short case, I know, but short for you doesn't always mean short.

Speaker 2:

It did in this case. I would have liked more information.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I know, I know you would you like information, and that's good and it's. Yeah, it's kind of unsatisfying to not have some of that. Yeah, for sure. Okay, well then, I guess we've talked it out.

Speaker 2:

Um, so what have you been reading, watching, listening to nope so I've been watching, like the vhs series of found footage or films. I had seen the original VHS one and I watched VHS 2 and then VHS 94. I skipped VHS Viral because I heard that that one is not good.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Although now I just saw somebody say that one of the segments is good and I'm like is it worth it to watch that one segment? I don't know, but they're like anthologies of short story horrors. Some of them are better than others, but you could just maybe watch one if you wanted to. There's a connecting kind of story, but it's very tenuous.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So, um, but yeah, they're just kind of fun and like a little bit there's a little humor in some of them and yeah, so I watched those. Yeah, so I watched those. And then my spouse was like you're always watching horror, like we should watch romantic comedy or something, which I was like what? Because usually she doesn't want to watch like romantic comedy. And so I was like we're going to watch all these romantic comedies and I found like a big old list. But then, of course, some of the best ones are like behind the like double walls of subscriptions. Like even after you have like the subscription for like whatever hulu or netflix or whatever, then they're like you need extra, extra subscription after that.

Speaker 2:

And I'm like no, I can't do I can't do all that, yeah, and so I was like, all right, well, I guess we're not doing that, and so then we'd just been watching season three of Bridgerton, which is, it's okay, yeah, so yeah, I was surprised you'd mentioned earlier.

Speaker 1:

You got to the carriage scene and you also didn't think that it was yeah as worth it as people, as smutty or or erotic or whatever, as people thought yeah, I just meh yeah, yeah, I'm rubbing off on you, perhaps what about?

Speaker 2:

also, I'm tired of all of Bridgerton's queer baiting maybe the next one.

Speaker 1:

They will have a queer romance.

Speaker 2:

I know they keep saying that, though I don't think they've even started filming. I mean, it's fine if they don't have that, but like stop queer baiting them, Like stop, like hinting, like that that's going to happen, and then you're not doing it.

Speaker 1:

Well, maybe they will. They haven't started the fourth season yet.

Speaker 2:

That's what I'm saying there Well, I haven't finished the third season either. So like they queerbaited hard with like thatict brother in like the first season and then then like subsequent seasons they seem to be like be like no wait, look, he's super straight. And I'm just like meh, yeah, like I don't even care about this character anymore. I don't know so yeah what'd you read?

Speaker 2:

yes, I read the woman in the garden. What the fuck is the name of that book? I want to see the woman in the garden, but that can't possibly be right. Oh yeah, it sure is called the woman in the garden, uh, by jill johnson, eustacia rose, number one. I liked the character more than the story. If that makes sense.

Speaker 2:

But there seems to be other stories with this character, so I might like those as well. So I might check, check those out. And I started War and Peace and so far they're at a boring Russian party.

Speaker 1:

Yes, even boring the second time around, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And that's all I have read for this year. Did we talk about what I read last year? At the end of last year, I read the Shiny Again. That was my last book of the year.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you said you read that every what Christmas-ish yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I read Candy Cane Kills, which I didn't get to, surprise, surprise. So I did read that one. I thought I wasn't going to get to it, but I did manage to read it. It was all right. Yeah, it was like very like B-horror as a book.

Speaker 1:

I think that's what it's supposed to be.

Speaker 2:

Well then, they accomplished it. And then I read the Christmas Swap by Talia Samuels and Make this Season Bright by Ashley Herring Blake, which are both sapphic Christmas romance-y stories. Yeah, so Nice.

Speaker 1:

And those were both pretty cute. Did you listen to anything? Any podcasts or anything?

Speaker 2:

Not, really Not in all that book listening. I have not really listened to any podcast, no, yeah. What about you?

Speaker 1:

Let's see. So what have I been watching? I have been weirdly watching Sense, sensibility, like over and over and over and over, which I did the um, uh, uh, colin firth, pride and prejudice. Yeah, I did the uh, 81 mansfield park. Right, I did the emma thompson, hugh grant, kate winslet, alec rickman's and sensibility of course, uh, my favorite persuasion um with uh karen heinz, I think his name is and I forget the actress's name, but they, I think they are.

Speaker 1:

No, no, it's a different actress who's in the junior with karen heinz. Anyway, uh, he's my favorite, mr wentworth, um.

Speaker 2:

I know we were supposed to read Emma last year and we didn't.

Speaker 1:

I know. Well, the book is okay. It's the movies I'm not a tremendous fan of.

Speaker 2:

Do you?

Speaker 1:

like Clueless Clueless yes, I know it's based on Emma. I like that one. That version's great, it's got some great lines and it's nostalgic. It does got some great lines and it's nostalgic it does, but anyway. So they had remade a lot of the austins back in like 2008, including persuasion, and persuasion has giles from buffy vampire slayer. He plays the dad, so I've watched that a few times. And then I've watched the new Sense and Sensibility many times, just kind of like on repeat and watching as in its background while I like color on my phone or whatever.

Speaker 2:

What is his name in real life? Giles is Anthony Stewart Head right.

Speaker 1:

I have no idea, I don't know. I just always look at him and go he's a librarian. That's what I think, which I shouldn't, because he's not. He's an actor, but you know, that's where my head goes. So that's what I've been watching and I started Sensibility for a third or fourth reread.

Speaker 2:

Okay, well, I better hop to reading Sense and Sensibility again, so that we can talk about Sense and Sensibility next podcast.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I read the Story of an Eye, or I think it's just called story of yeah, an eye or the eye story of the eye. Oh gosh, folks, which we learned about from the mayfly? Right, we learned about that from the book mayfly by cj lead.

Speaker 2:

So I looked it up, it was a real you should yeah, read it.

Speaker 1:

yeah, you should read mayfly. It's a good one, um. But yeah, I looked up I found that it was a real book. I ordered it and I've been putting it off for like a solid year year and a half, yeah and then I was like I need an easy win to start off my year and this is like 90 pages, yeah. So I read it and I really wish I had bleach for my brain because, oh my God, I am no prude, and you know that I'm no prude.

Speaker 2:

I know.

Speaker 1:

I am very much a you-do-you, i-don't-want-to-yuck-anyone's-yum. Right, there's piss kink in it, which is actually quite common, but not really my thing, and that's not even the gross part. Like that's the tame shit that's in there. Oh uh, there is bull testicles inserted in places, murder, murder in order to get off, and then an eye inserted in a particular body part. And the way that scene is described. It's told in first person by a guy. They're teenagers, which makes it even more icky.

Speaker 2:

Like young teenagers, teenagers like 14, I don't like like. I like reading young adult stuff, but not if it has like no, it's explicit sex stuff.

Speaker 1:

Gross, it's gross um, but I pushed through and I'm like no, I'm an adult.

Speaker 2:

Like I don't want to read about teens having explicit sex.

Speaker 1:

They definitely weren't doing teen things, but like he's turned, they're both turned on by this. She's had sex with the dead guy. I'm just gonna ruin it for everybody because you shouldn't read it unless you really want, unless you want to be grossed out. They cut out his eye, like she has an egg thing, which turns out to be an eyeball thing, right fetish, and they cut out the eye and she's like it's being rubbed all over her body while they're doing it and then she like inserts it and like he wants to look at it. So he opens her legs and there's an eyeball sticking out of her. Hoo-ha.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my God yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and they get away with the murder, by the way, a couple of them. Oh, my brain, my brain can never be cleaned, yeah, and like I mean, I read all kinds of things and I'm not usually grossed out by anything, but that bothers me.

Speaker 1:

It bothers me. Yeah, yeah, oh, that's the other important thing. The egg part is the most important thing in connection to Mayfly. Yeah, again, read it if you don't know. Yeah, it's LGBTQIA friendly. I don't know Like I understand why the author was going for it. You know like, yes, it's meant to be gross pornography, but that's kind of the point, because it's 1921 and it's. You know, people are stodgy and you know he's he's trying to shock, and he did. I mean, he shocked a 21st century smut reader for sure. Yeah, I'm just glad there wasn't any poop in there. Yeah, actually wait, that's not true there was oh oh, there was.

Speaker 1:

Nah, there was pig poop Ew.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that's somehow worse than human poop, yeah, oh, jeez, yeah, okay, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So I read it for you all, you don't?

Speaker 2:

have to read it. Don't do that, y'all, you're gonna get an infection.

Speaker 1:

Well, she didn't insert it anywhere, which is good, but still bull testicles, like that scene too. Like, for some reason, that's the craziest thing about that book. Of all the crazy things, the narrator isn't shocked by anything. Yeah, except that she tried to insert bull testicles into her vagina like that freaked him out and turned him off. But not the eyeball, yeah, not anything else. I don't know if it's because it's like bestiality, adjacent Right or what, but that was bananas, ugh, okay, okay. So somebody should invent bleach for brains or what, but that was bananas, oh, ok.

Speaker 2:

So somebody should invent bleach for brains, because that was gross. I will never.

Speaker 1:

There is a subreddit called like I bleach and it's all like pictures of puppies and stuff like that. Oh, I don't know that. That's going to get those images out of my head. I think I'm going to remember that for my whole life and it's going to gross me out. But that wasn't it. I also been reading War and Peace. Rachel and I are going to read a chapter a day for the whole year, because there are about as many chapters as there are days in a year.

Speaker 2:

That's a resolution.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, oh yeah. We got to talk about resolutions, Hold on, and I started our book for this next episode, helter Skelter, which is exciting.

Speaker 2:

I have not yet I thought of a resolution which is just to Wait, hold on until we get to the resolutions.

Speaker 1:

And then I attempted to read another book. I dnf'd it after two pages and I started another book called the employees, because I really like workplace um books where they like hate the place and it's like, has commentary on the state of work, right, which is what this is supposed to be. But I don't know what the fuck they're talking about, so I'm probably going to DNF it too. It's Russian, so that should probably give you an idea. It's Russian sci-fi, okay.

Speaker 2:

My brain hurts from it. So it's two like no cultural connections.

Speaker 1:

Well it's, they're little vignettes. So the premise is this is like several centuries into the future. Yep, they're on a spaceship with humans and humanoids and they're supposed to have picked up some stuff from the planet they're visiting, okay, and then each like page, page and a half is a new person's just ramblings, but like I don't know what they're talking about because, they don't really describe it Right. They talk about it as if you already know what's happening, what it is yeah.

Speaker 1:

I might try to keep going and get to the half, because it's a short book. I might try to keep going a little further and see if I can figure out what the fuck it's talking about, and if not, then I'm gonna dnf it and that'll be my second dnf for the year I'm gonna I was gonna make fun of you for dnfing books.

Speaker 1:

After finishing that, I I was determined to finish that book, even though it was the worst thing in the world. No, that's not true there. I've seen, I've watched a few things that are kind of worse than that not knowing what the fuck is going on is good reason to yeah, dnf a book yeah, um, but I might keep going.

Speaker 1:

I'm I'm really in the mood for that kind of thing, like what I'm in the mood for I had. Did you ever read? I think it's called severance. Yeah, it's a pink book and it came out just before the pandemic. That sounds familiar and it involves a pandemic, but really what it is is a criticism of work in America.

Speaker 2:

I think I've heard of it, but I don't think it really no it's.

Speaker 1:

It was really good. I loved that book and um well, love may be a strong word. I enjoyed it immensely and I want to read something like that, but I cannot seem to, yeah, get anything like that. Maybe the circle by dave edgars? Maybe I'll have to try that one.

Speaker 2:

I see, yeah, that's I was kind of hoping for something like that with that one book. What was it called? The one with the pomegranates on the cover? Uh women eating it looks like no, no, that was a good book um it looks like a uterus, but it's like pomegranate.

Speaker 1:

I know what you're talking about Hunger.

Speaker 2:

Is that what it's called? I don't know. She's like followed around by a little black hole?

Speaker 1:

I don't know, I didn't read it, but I've seen it. I think I know what you mean.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, but anyway, I thought it's like a commentary on whatever like.

Speaker 1:

A certain hunger.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, tech industry and like millennials and work culture and shit like that and women's place in it too. But like I don't know, I thought it was going to be way better than it was.

Speaker 1:

I don't know why. No, this is about a serial killer.

Speaker 2:

I'm not sure what I was expecting that it didn't have, but it didn't quite have it Right?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I hate when that happens, yeah, but that's all I read Listening to. None of my favorite podcasts have really had anything out since the last time we recorded. None of my favorite podcasts have really had anything out since the last time we recorded. Oh, matt Murphy was on Megyn Kelly again talking about Scott Peterson. Okay, yeah, that's interesting.

Speaker 2:

He killed his little girls and his wife.

Speaker 1:

No, he killed his pregnant wife. Oh, okay, that's what he's been not just accused of, he's been convicted of were there little girls too, or was that?

Speaker 1:

no, that's a different guy, scott peterson happened in the early 2000s, okay, uh, his wife was lacey peterson, all right, and he had the. Well, it's fair, I guess it's very similar to the two kiddos, one, but no, she was just pregnant. That was her first child, yeah, but people say, oh, he couldn't have done it because of X, y and Z. Except that, like they're forgetting that, like her hair is on the pliers in the boat that he used to dump her in.

Speaker 1:

you know, like people have just forgotten, forgotten I think a lot of things, and so they're just willing to buy that. Like people forget stuff so quickly I know they do, it's nuts, it's that. And it's also a younger generation that don't remember and they don't bother to do the research. They hear somebody say something they're like oh, yeah, yeah, that makes sense and then they don't.

Speaker 1:

They're not getting the full picture no, they're not um, but anyway it was. It was interesting and I always love it when um professionals uh get sarcastic and like roll their eyes. I think that's one of the reasons I like about Matt Murphy. He says dude almost as much as I do and he can't control his eye rolls.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I love that. I love that Because I can't either. I get called out a lot. Yeah, me too. So I guess if somebody as successful as Matt Murphy can get away with rolling his eyes, then maybe there's hope for us. Rachel, maybe one day we will be successful as well. I don't know, but anyway, that's the only thing I've listened to. Yeah, this past week, but we were going to do resolutions as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, my resolution that I just made. I was telling you earlier that I was having trouble really coming up with resolutions, but it's just to survive the year and also survive the incoming Trump administration. Yeah, so that's kind of something that makes me want to puke. Yeah and yeah.

Speaker 1:

But you don't have any like like low grade, like daily things. You want to do low grade, daily things, like walk or eat better, drink more water yeah I mean I drink plenty of water, but well, I know you do. It's just an example.

Speaker 2:

I do want to, yeah, definitely walk more again. I guess that's still always, yeah, uh, a goal, um I yeah, I mean eat better, but it's it's reallydos.

Speaker 2:

It's so hard because food is more and more expensive and so I think I'll be eating worse, probably because it just keeps going up in price. I actually I lost weight, a little bit of weight, which like it's not really something that, like I usually try not to like keep track of. Like minor fluctuations in my weight because I'm like you know they happen and yeah, I don't think it's a big deal, but because I'm bigger than like the doctor is always like you lost weight if I lost some weight or whatever.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and so I lost a few pounds and and like the nurse was like, you lost weight and I didn't want to tell her it's because food is expensive and so I'm eating less food, right, so like that's the delightful reason yeah, you don't even eat that much to begin with, and the food that that I've been eating has been probably less calorie dense as well. Yeah, like more like whatever, like filler carbs and yeah, things like that. So yeah, yay for inflation.

Speaker 1:

The good foods are um the goods that the foods that are good for you become more expensive more than the other stuff.

Speaker 2:

Yeah insanely so yeah, and so yeah, I know I noticed too.

Speaker 1:

I gotta get the zucchini. I'm starting to panic about the zucchinis I have in the fridge. Yeah, because they're expensive. Right, more expensive than they were.

Speaker 2:

Eat your zucchinis before they go bad.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm not going to make that secret. You can freeze them, yeah. So yeah, eat better, try to eat better is what you're saying.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, eat better, try to eat better is what you're saying and walk more. Eat as well as is within my means to do so.

Speaker 1:

Well, we're also going to go to yoga. Yep, we're going to try yoga. We're doing that tomorrow morning.

Speaker 2:

So yes.

Speaker 1:

We'll see if either one of us is flexible. They made what I. What I loved about the place and the little description they had is like well, one, they're inclusive, but two, they like made it a point to say that it's not just for young people, because I think a lot of their stuff is geared towards young people, because they give, like, school discounts and stuff. Yeah, and I just thought it was funny.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that it was no, that's, that's a good, it is a good thing to know.

Speaker 1:

It is a good thing to know, it's just, I don't know.

Speaker 2:

For some reason that was I, I definitely do think we're getting to an age where, yeah, I feel a little bit awkward if we're just surrounded by like young 20, 20-year-olds or something.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I guess that's why it was funny. I think maybe it wasn't the place we're going, maybe it was the other place I was talking about. But like they're little, they're little and they're young, right, they're like little babies. Yep, to me they look you because, you're old.

Speaker 2:

Over here, like yeah.

Speaker 1:

Oh God, rachel, we're old enough to be their moms.

Speaker 2:

We're doing our best here, like, yeah, bodies don't work the way that they used to when they're older.

Speaker 1:

No, they sure don't, they sure don't, but we'll get there, we'll be okay. It's movement, and I think that's, and meditation, and that's what we need.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, it is important important, my uh resolutions, which I don't. I had them written down and I left them somewhere. But you know basic things like try to eat healthy, which yeah right, um uh. Drink more water, because I've been really bad about that. Do more movement, I'm trying to be. I think part of the problem with when I um fail my resolutions is because I get a little too specific right, like I'm going to walk five times a week for X amount of time, but then life gets in the way and you don't do that right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so more movement, I think is really the resolution.

Speaker 2:

Last year I set a goal to like walk double what I had walked before or whatever.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then life happened, yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so just you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, just move more, walk as much as I can. Yeah, I want to do meditating um just life in general. I need to figure out a way to remain calm right uh, life is not calm.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think meditation has been proving me so beneficial for yeah, I just I just wish that I had.

Speaker 1:

Like I know you can get guided meditations on youtube and whatever. Yeah, I just wish I had like a place to go for at least a few classes to do it. That way I just feel like I would get more benefit out of it than just like putting on a youtube video. But right?

Speaker 2:

I guess yeah, because sometimes you have to get out of that environment but they don't have any.

Speaker 1:

They don't have any meditation classes here so yeah, so I guess I'm gonna have to do the videos, which is my little apartment and like there's always kids and yeah yeah, impossible yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, what else? Oh, try to read one book more than I read last year. Nice, I'm going to have to change that, because I wrote my resolutions before I remembered that I forgot to log like three or four books. Yeah, so now it's in the 30s. Yeah, I guess. Oh, we're going to try to do that reading challenge again this year. It seems to be easier than it was last time. Reading challenge yeah, although Story of the Eye does not fit into any of those categories.

Speaker 2:

I have to look to see if my book that I picked fits into any of the categories.

Speaker 1:

It might. So, Misery will fit. Oh yeah. Yeah, it'll fit one of them. One of the prompts is read a book whose title starts with an M.

Speaker 2:

Oh, that's so easy.

Speaker 1:

That is easy. So we'll have that one next time. Woo, okay, okay, but I guess that's it. This is super, super short. I think Rachel's lost steam I have, okay, sorry everyone.

Speaker 2:

That's all right. I didn't have much steam to begin with.

Speaker 1:

No.

Speaker 2:

It's miraculous that I accomplished any kind of episode.

Speaker 1:

All right, well, reminder. Next episode we will be discussing Helter Skelter.

Speaker 2:

Yes, next episode it.

Speaker 1:

We will be discussing helter skelter. Yes, and please like. Subscribe, download, review. Uh, you can follow us on insta. We have a facebook page and, uh, we also have an email. Nobody's emailed us yet. I don't think.

Speaker 2:

No, we just got like one it was like an offer for, I think, editorial services or something that we can't afford.

Speaker 1:

Okay, yeah well, uh, do that.

Speaker 2:

We like emails yeah, but don't try and sell this stuff because yeah, yeah, no, we're poor.

Speaker 1:

Offer sponsorship yes yes, selling your services. Sorry, yeah uh, can't afford that. Okay, anyway, like subscribe download review and we will talk to you next time. Bye.

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